It was a Wednesday evening at prayer meeting.

Wednesdays are loooong days of the week for me. Many times I drag myself into prayer meeting feeling a little more dead than alive. By that point, my hair has fallen limply out of its curls.  My make-up didn’t survive the day, and I probably have a large pen mark on my shirt or skirt.

My pastor had us open to the book of Proverbs that night…to a chapter and verse I am sure that I have read before. It was never a verse that had really stuck out to me, though.

Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the   strength of the ox.  (Prov. 14:4)

It just didn’t seem like the verse I would have prettily scripted out in calligraphy on scrapbook paper and stuck to my bathroom mirror.

But as my pastor read Proverbs 14:4 that night, I found myself perking up and smiling instantly. It described me and my classroom perfectly!

The verse essentially teaches that if you don’t have any oxen – you’ve got a really clean barn…but not much productivity.  On the other hand, if you have oxen, you’ve got more of a mess, but you also have a huge blessing in the help that they can be.

Sooooo, I wouldn’t say that my classroom is quite as messy as the barn mentioned in that verse…but…some days it can be pretty rough. Pencils everywhere (except in a student’s hand when we are starting a spelling test – then there is nary a pencil to be found!). Little snowfalls of pencil and eraser shavings are sprinkled around individual desks.  Tiny pieces of paper litter the ground. Can we all just admit that kids are messy? They track goose poop all over your carpet when they come in from the soccer field. They mess up your perfectly organized classroom library. They don’t turn in their homework and make you chase them down for it. They get in fights with their friends. They whine. They tattle. They go CRAZY the week before vacation.

Their parents can be pretty messy, too…they forget to sign those forms; they stop to talk to you at inopportune moments; they forget to send their student with that special item needed that day. Sometimes they are upset over an issue, and that can be messy to deal with, too.

But for all of my students and their families’ messiness, their teacher is just one big mess, too.

You see, as my pastor pointed out that night – ministry is messy.

I get frustrated when I expect it to be otherwise. When I expect my 18 kiddos to sit perfectly and understand long division the first time I explain it and never forget their lunches and love each other and never disagree and be fully engaged in listening to my voice for about 35 hours a week…well, needless to say that my expectations get dashed within the first 10 minutes of a Monday morning!

Sometimes I think about what it would be like to work in a job where things aren’t so messy. I look at all of the sweat, heart, and soul that I pour into teaching and guiltily think that there has got to be something easier out there to do.

And you know what? I know there are easier jobs out there… but there aren’t many jobs that have this kind of return investment.

Just as that farmer would have a much easier job cleaning the barn if he didn’t have any oxen, I feel that sometimes I could be a great teacher…if it weren’t for the kids 😉 Yet, those oxen are worth the mess to the farmer because of all the benefits they bring to him.

And my own little messy classroom is worth it. I may get to see glimmers of the benefits this year in my class – that smile, note, or sweet words from a student or their parent. I have the opportunity to see how God is using my messy students to work on my own messy heart. But only when I cross into eternity will I get to see the true returns on my investment. Only in Heaven will I get to see the lives impacted and changed.

Maybe it won’t be hundreds of students that I have impacted…but if I can help even one child love Christ more and choose to serve Him, wouldn’t it all be worth it for just that one child? One changed life?

And when I stand before Christ to lay any rewards at His feet, I am not going to be thinking of all the messiness involved in teaching – the frustration, long hours and stacks of grading, the difficult students or parents. I am going to be praising Him for His faithfulness in helping me to steward my messy little piece of earth in a 3rd/4th grade classroom in Charlotte, NC.

I am going to thank Him for how he took a perfect mess and turned it into something so perfectly glorifying to Him.

Ministry is messy, but it’s worth it.

O Lord, you are my God;  I will exalt you; I will praise your name, for you have done wonderful things, plans formed of old, faithful and sure (Isaiah 25:1).

My sneakers pound the black belt of the treadmill. Faster. The speed picks up. Faster. The voice whispers again. I push harder. The treadmill picks up speed and I break into a sprint to keep up. Faster. Longer. Better. I gasp for breath but my sneakers keep pounding.

I blink and I realize it’s not the treadmill that’s pushing me – it’s me. Do more. The voice whispers. Be more.  Everything begins whirling as I frantically try to gain control and keep up. But it all goes faster and faster. Keep going. You’ve got to be better.

And as I try to keep up, I begin to wonder – when did I have to start being the best at everything?  The perfect student, the perfect teacher, the perfect friend, the perfect Christian? The girl who outwardly has everything together and knows exactly where she is going in life? The girl who can never slip up?

I am constantly running, trying to be faster, better, stronger. As exhaustion sets in, I grit my teeth and push through it.  My students need me. My family needs me. My church needs me. To admit I can’t do it all is weakness. To share my struggles with someone else makes me look needy. But I’m supposed to be the person who has it all together- weakness and neediness are not options. And so I push – harder and harder. I will be the best. I will succeed. And I will do it on my own.

And the treadmill spins out of control.

I fall down. Hard. Embarrassed. Glancing around to see if anyone witnessed my disgrace. The voice that urged me on now cruelly sneers at me. Way to blow it. What a failure. Did you really think you could be good enough? Now look what you’ve done – you’ve ruined it all! And I sit there on the cold ground as the treadmill keeps going beside me. But I’m not on it. And I wonder if I’ll ever be back on it.

Maybe I have failed in an aspect of my classroom management. Maybe I missed the deadline. Maybe I disappointed my administrator or my students’ parents. Maybe I let down my own family.

But as I sit there humiliated in the stillness, a kind voice calls to me. Come unto me and I will give you rest. Give me your heavy burden and take mine instead, for it is light, and you will find rest for your soul.

Tears stream down my face as I pant heavily. No, Lord, really, I can do it! Just give me another chance! I’ll try harder. I’ll do better.

 Daughter, you can’t do it. And that’s okay! You were not meant to be able to do it — to bear this burden of perfection. I have already borne it for you. I have taken it off your shoulders yet you insist on fighting me to try and take it back. Be still. Be still and know that I am God (and you are not!).

And it hits me – I am not God.  I am not perfect. I do not have everything under my control.  I can’t be enough for my students, their families, my family, and my church. I can’t meet all of their needs.

But God is  enough for them – and for me.  I just have to step back, slow down, and trust Him with what I can’t do.

So when my best is not good enough – when I fail? By God’s grace, He will help me to stand back up. He will put me back on the treadmill…but He puts His hand over the controls. He is the One who is going to set the pace this time. He knows what I can handle with His help.

He is not disappointed that I can only do a 2.0 mph pace instead of the 8.0 mph that I want to do.

He allowed me to spin out of control to bring me back to the point of dependence on Him. He knows that other than Satan, I am my own worst enemy!

It isn’t His voice I hear telling me that I am a failure. His voice is whispering,

I have loved you with an everlasting love…

Nothing shall be able to separate you from my love…

And knowing that God’s love for me didn’t change because I wasn’t good enough today? Well, I can face anything if I know that He still loves me! Back when I accepted Christ as my Savior, God knew I would fail. He didn’t adopt me into His family because He knew what an amazing addition I would be! He chose me, knowing full well all the ugliness and messiness I would bring along with me!

How thankful I am that I serve a God who rewards faithfulness, not perfection.

For the righteous falls seven times and rises again… (Prov. 24:16A)

Don’t you love stock photos of teachers?

The teacher with every hair perfectly in place…her beautiful unwrinkled button-down shirt. Her glistening white smile. The beautiful chalkboard behind her. Her students sitting in spotless desks with their hands eagerly outstretched, waiting patiently for their turn to talk.

It always looks so calm and peaceful. It doesn’t look like me or my classroom.

My hair is thrown back in a messy bun because I just don’t feel like dealing with it anymore. My shirt is covered in pen marks and fruit cocktail juice (from tearing off those plastic coverings on fruit cups at lunch). I choose to not look at the desks because they give me nightmares. My whiteboard is covered with marker residue, and I have forgotten to change the date at the top again. And the kid with the eagerly outstretched hand…he is already talking and just about falling out of his seat from waving it.

Some days, it’s just a little bit of chaos.

Maybe your classroom is never chaotic – you and your students really do look like those stock photos (you are my hero! Come help me, please!). But the chaos in your life comes from elsewhere – a diagnosis, a failing relationship, financial stress, a breaking heart over a wandering child.

God’s Word has so many examples of people whose lives are in chaos – men and women just like us who feel like they are spinning out of control. Yet many of these men and women still found joy and peace amidst the storms raging around them.

One of my favorite accounts in the Bible is the story of the disciples being tossed around in a boat during a great storm. They are probably struggling to hold on as the winds whip them around. The waves keep pounding their little boat, and soon the water is pouring in and filling up. They are panicked. They are freaking out as they bail water. They are doing everything they know how to do to try and save themselves.

And through it all, Jesus is right there with them…asleep.

The disciples rush over to wake Him up and the accusations fly out of their mouths before they can stop them.

Lord, don’t you care that we are perishing?

Oh, the cry of the overwhelmed soul! My heart knows it so well!

Lord, don’t you care that I just lost my teaching position and have to find a new one within a few months?

Lord, don’t you care that I am trying to juggle the demands of teaching with caring for a failing parent?

Lord, don’t you care that I am serving you but struggling to pay the bills?

Lord, don’t you care that I love children but can’t seem to have any of my own?

Lord, don’t you care that a loved one was just diagnosed with cancer?

Lord, don’t you care about the loneliness I feel?

Lord, don’t you care?

And as my heart cries out, the storm keeps raging around me…the water level keeps growing, and the wind threatens to knock me over.

Then, His voice slices through the storm.

Peace, be still.

Instantly the storm ceases.

Imagine the relief of the disciples – one minute they are bailing out water and saying their last prayers, and the next moment the sea is perfectly calm.

Jesus turns to them and lovingly confronts them,

“Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” (Mark 4:40)

You see, the circumstances had changed for the disciples…but one thing had not changed, and that was their Savior. Christ cut right to the heart of the matter – His disciples were panicking because of a lack of faith. Their gaze was on the storm…not their Savior.

Lack of peace stems from a lack of  faith and focus.

They were never going through that storm alone. Through it all, Christ was right there with His disciples. Yes, for awhile, He was silent…but He was still right there, and He knew exactly what was going on. He brought the disciples to the end of themselves so that He could direct their focus to where it should have been the entire time.

The disciples forgot (or did not truly know, based on their later response) who was in the boat with them.

The secret to peace in the midst of storms is remembering who is in the boat with you. 

God lovingly and ever so carefully brings us through storms to grow us closer to Him. No gust of wind or wave can break over your ship without Him knowing and allowing it. No storm is faced on your own. In fact, He has already successfully faced every storm that you will ever come up against and is waiting to help you to do the same.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are,yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16)

Dear friend, whatever you are facing…you are facing it with Christ right by your side. He is growing your faith by bringing you to the point where you can do nothing else but turn to Him. He wants you to get to know who He is.

If the disciples truly had realized who was in the boat with them, they would have realized that He was…

• The Creator of all (Ps. 136:5-9, Ps. 95:4-6, Ps. 100:3)
• Sovereign (Is. 55:8-9, Ps. 115:3, Ps. 138:8)
• All-powerful (Jer. 32:17, Ps. 147:5)
• Loving (Ps. 94:18-19,Is. 54:7-10, Rom. 8:35, Jer. 31:3, Ps. 117:2)

In your storm, turn your gaze to whom your God is. Remind yourself of His promises. Cling to His character. Your chaos is not too much for Him to handle.

Peace, just like joy, is not a feeling that depends on circumstances. It’s a fruit that the Spirit grows in our lives as we get to know our God more and more.  Run to Him – knowing Him is the true and only source of lasting peace!

A few of my favorite resources if you are facing your own storm…

• A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23
• Trusting God Even When Life Hurts
• When God Doesn’t Fix It 
• What Do I Know About My God? a helpful resource on studying the Bible and gaining a notebook full of truth about your God that you can turn to in times of  difficulty or praise.
• Song: I Am With You – video explaining background of song with lyrics printed below; song available for purchase on iTunes
• Song: I’ll Never Forsake You – also available for download on iTunes

*Please note that I do not necessarily endorse every aspect of the above resources, but they are ones that I have personally found to be helpful for me!

Have you ever met a Christian who just doesn’t seem very happy?

I mean, they always seem to walk around with a perpetual scowl on their faces.

As you stand in the pew behind them at church, you observe them singing “there is joy, joy, joy in serving Jesus”…but if that’s what their joy looks like, you would hate to see what they would look like if their dog died.

It seems kind of strange that someone who has had an unimaginable debt paid off by God’s Son, has been welcomed into the family of God, and has Heaven to look forward to one day…isn’t very happy.

As Christian teachers, we need to especially be sensitive to the fact that dozens – perhaps hundreds of pairs of young and easily influenced eyes are watching us from “the pew behind”.  And whether they realize it or not, those students are making their own evaluations of Christianity based on what they are seeing. If they observe Christians who are never happy, who are always grumbling over finances, administration, difficult students…why would they want to have that? 

If that’s the “joy in serving Jesus”, they are pretty sure they would get more joy working on Wall Street or being a professional football player…or even flipping burgers, for that matter. All those people certainly look happier than the Christians that they know.

According to the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5, joy should be one of the hallmarks of a Christian’s life. A lack of joy is a glaring “check engine light” that something in our spiritual walk is not right. It is important to note that the Fruit of the Spirit is a work of the Holy Spirit in my life and not something that I can cultivate on my own. My job is cultivate the soil for the Spirit to work by spending time with God in His Word, prayer, and the fellowship of other believers.

1. Joy doesn’t depend on circumstances because it depends on the presence of God.

The joy mentioned in Galatians 5 is so much more than a feeling or an emotion. This joy doesn’t depend on circumstances – we can have this type of joy after a super rough day in the classroom or a terrible parent-teacher conference. No, I am not saying that we need to keep a fake smile plastered to our face in the midst of everything going wrong…our kids know the difference between genuine joy and “faking-it”. However, joy does mean that even on the worst days, I remember that I am a child of the King. God loved me so much that He sent His Son to die for me…and He is not going to leave me alone to figure the rest of this life out (Phil. 1:6). 

That joy can look different depending on the days. Some days, by God’s grace,  it will be a genuine smile despite the difficulties you’re facing. Other days it may look like being transparent with your students in your disappointments, but then using the opportunity to point all of your hearts back to the promises of Scripture (of course, always use discernment when sharing personal stuff!).

I love this passage from Habakkuk where the prophet says…

Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s, he makes me tread on high places. (Habakkuk 3:17-19)

Habakkuk is basically saying that even if the worst happens (no food, no form of livelihood…NOTHING), He can rejoice because he has Christ. And isn’t Christ enough?

As teachers, can we say the same thing?

Maybe you are in a tough time right now – you were let go from your position, you have a difficult summer job, you are moving to a new school, or there are problems with loved ones close to you.

Remember, in all of this – YOU HAVE CHRIST and He alone is the true source of joy! When we believe that a certain relationship, job, opportunity, hobby, etc. will bring us joy, we are being deceived. That longed for opportunity may bring happiness temporarily…but that’s it. Once we get that, we’ll want something else. It’s the good old “if-you-only-get-me-this-for-Christmas-I-won’t-ask-for-anything-more” syndrome. Have you ever heard that with your kids (or been guilty of saying it yourself?)? Your child may have genuinely been convinced that this toy was all that they would ever want in life…but it doesn’t take long (24 hours? A few days?) before they are wanting something more.  That’s because God created us to only find true joy and satisfaction in Him.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore (Ps. 16:11, emphasis added)

So if you are struggling in the joy department, listen to the warning signs and check your heart – where is it that you are searching for joy apart from Christ?

2. Joy doesn’t depend on circumstances because it depends on the promises of God

Of course, God’s presence is one of His promises and we could pretty must just park it right there and call it a day. But wait, there’s more!! Scripture is filled with some of His very specific and precious promises to us. When you’re struggling with joy, write these verses down on index cards and post them around your home and workplace. Memorize them. Every time Satan tries to steal your joy, throw him a few of these!

I can’t be joyful because…

• I am uncertain about the future (Rom. 8:28-29, Matthew 6:25-34, Joshua 1:9)
• I am in a series of difficult circumstances right now (II Cor. 12:9, Hebrews 4:14-16)
• I am facing something impossible (Jer. 32:27, Job 37:5, II Cor. 9:8, Eph. 3:20)
• I have messed up too badly for God to use me (I John 1:9, Ps. 32:5, Ps. 86:5, Is. 1:18)

Armed with the presence and promises of God, what can steal our joy from us?

So, do you show to your students that there is indeed joy in serving Jesus?

Dear Worn-Out, Run-Down, Absolutely Exhausted Teacher,
Wow – you have almost made it! It is May and the countdown has begun! I know you are tired – deep down to your toes tired. And no wonder! For the past nine months you have poured yourself into your students. By God’s grace you have loved them. You have prayed for them. You have shouldered their burdens. You have cried for them. You have rejoiced with them. You have encouraged them. You have counseled them…and oh, yes – you’ve also taught them English or Math somewhere along the way.
You’re probably sick after your body has finally surrendered to the germs it has been battling all year long.
Even though you are exhausted, you’re probably not sleeping well because of the gazillion school-related thoughts and to-do lists going through your head at night.
You’re stressed when you look at all the curriculum and special events that need to be crammed into the next few weeks.
Your patience is wearing thin – it seems like you have been dealing with some of the same behavior and discipline problems for the entire nine months. Your kids have spring fever and all of those classroom management routines and academic skills you have drilled into them seem to have vanished.
You are discouraged. You haven’t reached them all. You look out at the sea of faces and see the one student you felt like you could never connect with. You see the student who has hardened their heart towards God. You see the student who may fail and need summer school. You feel like you have failed.
You feel like it is taking everything in you to drag yourself across the finish line of the school year.
But God’s not done with you, yet.
When you are tired, you are extra vulnerable to Satan’s attacks. He would love to see you fizzle out at the end of the year – just focusing on enduring the final days instead of thriving.He would love to see you stop leaning on the love and power of God that has been sustaining you all year long.
Don’t let him.
I can guarantee that you can’t finish this year well in your own strength, but you don’t have to. Finish this year strong, relying on God’s strength. In all of the busyness and exhaustion, cling so closely to your God. Spend a little extra time in prayer and His Word. Keep your gaze firmly fixed on Him and all that He has done this year.
Instead of focusing on how far your students still have to go, take a moment to realize how far they have come.
Instead of focusing on how you have failed this year, take a moment to see the moments of God’s grace in your classroom. You weren’t a perfect teacher – there’s no such thing. You probably did fail in some areas this year (in fact, I can guarantee it!), but remember that God delights in using broken things to accomplish His purposes. God chose you to be the teacher for your class this year – He didn’t make a mistake. You were where you were exactly when you were supposed to be there. He wanted to use you to teach them…and He wanted to use them to teach you. Look for the moments of His grace and spend time thanking Him for them instead of wallowing in where you feel that you failed.
In the stressful and overwhelming days yet to come, don’t forget your students. Don’t get so wrapped up in rushing through curriculum and packing things up that you fail to really enjoy your last few days with them. Stop running around for a minute and just observe them. Relish the joy on their faces as they tell you a story. Delight in the smiles and laughter they share with their friends. Look back at their pictures from the beginning of the year and see how much they have grown up. Have times where you put aside your to-do list and just love your kiddos for these final days. Use these days to direct their eyes towards God and all He has accomplished this year.
Yes, you are tired. You feel like you are completely done.
But God’s not done.
He is still at work in you and your students.
Lean on His everlasting arms and finish the race strong.

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
    his understanding is unsearchable.
 He gives power to the faint,
    and to him who has no might he increases strength.
 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
    and young men shall fall exhausted;
 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
    they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31)

Surely God is good!

Love,

A fellow worn-out, run-down, absolutely exhuasted teacher

Who is ready for a giveaway?! I firmly believe that you can never have too many books, so I am going to try to add one more to your resource library! 🙂

Instructing a Child’s Heart by Tedd & Margy Tripp is a tremendous resource for anyone who works with children! While written specifically for parents, there was sooooo much in here that I took away as a Christian teacher desiring to help her students grow in Christ. The Tripps’ goal is not to give a simple three-step method to change the behavior of a child.  It is all about using God’s principles to help form the hearts of our students. More than geared towards “fixing” our children, it challenges us as authorities to examine our motives and methods behind the way we teach our children.

Our objective when we teach our children is not simply to ensure…that our children are not criminals or that they “do well”. Rather, our desire is that they should love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, and mind.  (Tedd & Margy Tripp)

Our goal is to help our students love and glorify God. How do we do this when they are bombarded with different “truths” on all sides of them?

They hear one thing from their friends.

They hear one thing from the media.

They hear yet another thing from their parents and teachers.

Then they hear things from God’s Word.

Whose instruction is winning out?

Throughout the book, the term “formative instruction” is used frequently. According to the Tripps, formative instruction is “teaching that ‘forms’ our children…[it] is ‘before the problem instruction’. Its focus is interpreting and responding to life in biblical ways.” Formative instruction is the the way that we weave the Gospel, Scripture, and our view of God into the daily moments that make up life.

I love the idea that we are constantly using this formative instruction to help our students build a biblical framework before trouble/discipline hits.Times of discipline can’t be the only times that we hit our students with Scripture. if we do that, they are very likely to resent Scripture! Also, the Tripps point out a truth that we know probably all too well…

We never do our best teaching when we are in a discipline situation…if we try to do our formative instruction in the context of corrective discipline, our focus will be too narrow. We will miss the big picture – the opportunity to teach a worldview.

Instructing a Child’s Heart is a book that will encourage and challenge you. Filled with Scripture and a focus on the Gospel and our great God, this book is a resource that will help you in journey as a teacher or parent.  It is a book that will help to refocus your gaze on God and how our view of God trickles down to our children.

Parenting [Teaching]that exhibits a vital relationship with God in all the joys and storms of life is irresistible to children and young people. Conversely, the surest way to harden our children’s hearts to God and his ways is “having a form of godliness but denying its power” (II Tim. 3:5)

Shepherd’s Press has graciously donated a copy of Instructing a Child’s Heart for a giveaway. I was not paid for this review, and all opinions expressed are my own.