I wish I had her class.
I wish I taught at that school.
I wish I was as creative a she is…
The comparison game – played by many of us, and won by none of us. How quick I am to look at your personality, your classroom, your life, and immediately place my own personality, classroom, and life side by side with yours. I want to know how I measure up. I want to know my value in relationship to yours.
See, the comparison game is quite a dangerous game. It never ends well! When I play it, I typically fall in one of two ways…and they both involve me losing!
Comparison is the thief of joy. (Theodore Roosevelt)
1. Envy & Self-pity
I look at your life, the students you have, the teaching abilities you have, and I want them instead of what I have. I begin to think in if only’s…
- If only I had your high achieving, well-behaved class…
- If only I had the supportive parents you have….
- If only I had your personality as a teacher…
- If only I had your sense of humor…
- If only I had your ability to lead…
But the if only’s offer a dangerous lie – that if only I had what you had, I could be happy. Any time that I look for my joy outside of Christ, I am treading on dangerous ground.
Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. (Hebrews 13:5)
God gave you your class, your abilities, and your life. He gave me mine – and I can be content with what I have because He promises His presence. Maybe He has given me a load that appears more difficult than yours, but He promises His grace to help me bear what He has given me (II Cor. 12:9).
Contentment comes when I find my value in Christ and not in how I measure up to you. If I am His child, I am loved and accepted the way I am – warts and all! Christ knew my sinfulness and weakness, but He still chose to save me. If I cannot find contentment and security in Him, I will never find it!
This is not to say that I shouldn’t learn from you and your strengths – but instead of envying your abilities, I should be thankful for them. I should let you know that. I should ask for suggestions in improving. But I should not envy you. I can be thankful that God blessed me with areas I need to grow in…if I was perfect, I wouldn’t need to depend on Him. (If you struggle with perfectionism, please check out what I wrote here). I can be thankful that as a body of Christ, God has given us different abilities and jobs. One of us is is not more important than another member – we are all working together to bring glory to God (I Cor. 12:12-26).
2. Pride & Self-sufficiency
This is my response when I compare myself with you and find that I am “better”. I become proud that I would never talk to a student that way. I am proud that I can get my students to behave in the hallway or lunchroom. I am proud that even though I may not be the best teacher, at least I am better than you.
But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding. (II Corinthians 10:12b)
My pride shows my foolishness. If I have abilities or good circumstances, why would I think that I am responsible for them? Yes, I have probably had to work hard to develop a good classroom management system or develop creative lessons…but if it weren’t for God, would I be able to do any of it? Isn’t God the One who gave me my gifts and talents? I may have honed them, but I can’t develop what I don’t have to begin with!
For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it? (I Corinthians. 4:7)
And just as the if only’s, my pride also puts me on dangerous ground. I am finding my value and joy in accomplishments instead of Christ…and what’s worse, I am taking His credit for it!
So, how do you stop playing the comparison game? Start a new game – a game of gratitude! When you are tempted to start comparing yourself to someone else, stop. Begin praying and thanking the Lord for what He has given you – be specific! Gratitude solves both problems – I can’t be envious and full of self-pity when I see all that God has blessed me with. I also can’t be proud because I realize that God has blessed me with all that I have. Find your joy in Christ alone – nothing else will satisfy!